


Press F for Henry’s Missing Gumball

by local_dragon_haunt



Category: Henry Danger (TV)
Genre: Bubblegum, Henry hart - Freeform, Seriously like “ooh can I have some gum?”, Their superpowers, aka teenagers cursing just as much as real life high schoolers, all - Freeform, all of them - Freeform, also children cursing wildly, also henry never lost his powers, also ray x Henry shippers stay away from my Christian fanfiction, also they’re all gay disasters, and Ray just wants a nap, because fuck that I need angsty superpowered teens, but also angst, but i love it, charlotte Bolton - Freeform, come from, everyones SHOOKETH, fuck you her last names Bolton, how has NO ONE FIGURED THIS OUT BY TOTAL ACCIDENT YET, its a shitpost show, it’s such a meme, jasper dunlop - Freeform, kinda crack???, ray Manchester - Freeform, yall are NASTY, ”lol okay but I’m gonna take some behind your back anyways—
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-02-23 21:45:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18710545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/local_dragon_haunt/pseuds/local_dragon_haunt
Summary: Y’all ever realize that the only thing keeping Henry’s secret in tact is a GUMBALL TUBE???And how High schoolers are attracted to gum like moths to a FLAME???You put two and two together.Aka I take the ‘ Danger Games’ premise, put it in Henry’s high school with the classmates he’s grown up with, and make it 100 times more gaynsty crack (gay-angsty shitpost) with a sprinkling of actual logic as a finishing touch on top.





	1. I Was Gone for Two Minutes Y’all, What the FU—

**Author's Note:**

> I wish I could say I’m sorry but I’m really not so
> 
> Viva La On With The Story

Okay yeah no, he definitely fucked up. 

He just needed to piss. That was all. In the six minutes it took for him to empty his bladder his life took a right turn onto the highway to Hell. 

He used to keep his gum balls in his pocket, on his person at all times during school the first year. But like—that thing was nine inches long, and difficult to keep in his pockets all the time. So he just kinda shifted it to the little front pocket in his backpack in the three years he had been Kid Danger. 

Thankfully the fabric was thick enough to conceal the glowing of the gum—as in you could only see it if the lights were off and you knew they were there. 

And somehow Oliver managed to know they were there. 

And didn’t fucking know that they weren’t fucking regular. 

So apparently while Henry was pissing, he dug through his bag, found the gum, and popped one in his mouth without anyone noticing. 

Because the world just fucking hates Henry apparently. 

You know, that might have been fine as well, if Oliver hadn’t blown a bubble. He could have realized and made him spit it out with at least some dignity and his secret in tact. 

But fucking no. Because of course Schwoz with his futuristic technology had to make them round like regular fucking Gumballs. 

So of course Oliver blew one. 

And of fucking course the gumballs worked exactly like they were supposed to goddamnit Schwoz. 

So Henry walked back into class with an empty bladder thinking all was amazing with the world and he would just have to sit through the rest of the math lesson. 

Only to be met with Oliver in his fucking suit. 

“Oh, fuck.”

It slipped from his lips before he even realized it, causing everyone to slowly turn towards him.

Wide eyes. All around. Everyone was frozen in their seats. Amazement, horror, excitement, realization—all of those shone in the eyes of his classmates and he hated it. 

He couldn’t stop from looking over to Charlotte and Jasper. Pleading orbs gazing into their scared ones. He couldn’t move. He was frozen in the doorway. 

His fingers, numb as a result of the coal of anxiety that had dropped into his gut, fell off the door handle, causing it to close quietly behind him. 

Should he run? No—no that wasn’t professional. Stay? He really didn’t want to. He continued to send a pleading look at his friends. They could only shrug in helplessness. 

He instead shifted his gaze over to Oliver, who was frozen in a way that made him look like a predator was eyeing him. Maybe he actually thought that, too. 

He was in a position that made him look like he was afraid to move—as if he was afraid the suit would kill him if he moved another millimeter. 

Henry stayed frozen for another minute. He could practically hear Ray cocking the memory gun in his mind. Cocking the gun while scowling at him. 

Maybe he wouldn’t be that mad? After all, it was Oliver’s fault this time not his…

“God fucking damnit, Oliver. You nosy son of a bitch.” Henry practically growled, voice cracking a bit. 

Ms. Shapen finally spoke up, being the second person in about two minutes to speak besides Henry. “Henry, watch your language.”

The sixteen year old giggled nervously despite himself. What else could he do? “Considering the circumstances I think it’s just slightly tolerable.” He mumbled. 

More silence. More staring. Henry pushed back the urge to throw Oliver across the room and dissolve into a panic attack. 

“H-how about we just—we just continue the lesson?” He covered another voice crack with a cough. “Forget this all happened?”

He knew that was unrealistic. He knew he had to call Ray. Someone had to call him. This was a three-beep situation. 

“Uh, how about instead we ask like, a million questions?” Said some kid he barely even talked to. Okay. Henry was taking them out right after Oliver. 

That triggered a response in the class, and everyone was suddenly pulling out their phones. 

Why him? 

Henry used his Hyper Motility out of instinct. He grabbed his laser from his belt on Oliver, and fired it at every phone he could see. 

Except for Jasper and Charlotte’s, of course. 

He then fired at the WiFi device on the ceiling for good measure. Swellview was out in the middle of Wyoming. Cell service sucked and most people relied on WiFi to get anything done. 

“No one leaves this room.” He said, pointing the laser at Ms. Shapen, who went bug-eyed in fear. 

Henry realized how it looked, and lowered the weapon. 

He nodded to Jasper and Charlotte, who immediately got up and locked the two doors. 

Henry fiddled with his watch as they did so, keeping an eye on the classroom. He felt like he was holding hostages. And he was...kind of glad. In some sick, twisted way. His secret was on the brink of getting out and this was the only solution he could think of. 

They were terrified of him, as if he were nonhuman. Technically he...wasn’t. So why should he act like one? God, if this is the feeling criminals feel when they do this kind of stuff, he’s glad that he fights them. 

He looked around at the petrified class, looking at him as if waiting for directions. 

“I need to call my boss. Nothing personal. I just...yeah.” 

He didn’t know why he was telling them this. Why he felt like he needed to justify himself, he didn’t know. He had done nothing wrong, it was all Oliver’s fault. 

All his fucking fault. 

He took a shaky breath, bracing himself for what Ray would do, before pressing the call button on his watch. 

The first time he called, Ray didn’t pick up. He almost didn’t have the balls to dial a second time. But he forced himself to anyway. 

He clenched his jaw and pressed the button again.


	2. Hey so Listen Ray Just Wants to Nap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry calls Ray and lets him know that He Fucked Up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I'm back this is the fastest I've updated a story since like 2015 oof crack is so much easier to write because its literally just how I speak lmfao I'm a walking shitpost.
> 
> Viva La On With the Story

The watch rang six times before Ray picked up. The older superhero was in a pair of sweats and a too-large shirt. His hair suggested Henry had woken him up from a nap.

"Kid, this better be important. I was in the middle of a great fucking dream with some hot girls and a beach made of ice cream." He announced, yawning and rubbing his eyes. "Also some dudes. Fuck, I'm gay..."

Henry didn't answer. His jaw as still clenched and he was afraid of what would happen if he let a sound out.

Maybe it would have been better if he had answered. Ray sensed something was wrong when his sidekick didn't laugh or make a disgusted sound in response to his greeting.

"Henry, you okay? You look like you're about to puke."

Ray's face was shadowed in concern. Henry realized what he was about to say would ruin his day.

He opened his mouth, slightly. It wavered as he tried to find a way to word the dilemma he was in. A few tiny sounds escaped, but nothing more.

Ray moved his hands in a circular motion, trying to coax Henry on. "C'mon buddy. Use your words." He joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Henry coughed, before taking a deep breath. "I uh...I need you to—I need you to come down to the school."

Ray's eyebrows quirked. "Uh. Okay. Why? Also where are you? It's like sixth period for you right? You forget some homework over here or something?"

"No…"

"Oh okay. Well uh…" Ray clasped his hands together and swayed on the balls of his feet. He was obviously nervous. "What-what is it,then?"

Time to spit it out. Damnit, Henry, just do it. The blond took a deep breath.

"Oliver found my gum. Went through my backpack. Blew bubble. Changed. Whole class—I took their phones and locked them in, come quick, please?"

It probably took a few seconds for Ray to process it. What Henry said probably wasn't even a real sentence, but it was better than just stuttering.

Or maybe it took him longer because he didn't want to process it.

"You're joking, right? Cuz if you're joking that's—" Ray laughed, that high pitched sound that the man made when he was stressed or uncomfortable. "That's not funny. Henry please tell me this is a poor-in-taste prank."

Henry didn't answer. He didn't look into Ray's holographic eyes.

"Henry Hart, this is a _prank_ , right?"

Charlotte, his savior as always, (or maybe damner in this case) took Henry's wrist and twisted it so that she was in view of the camera.

"No, Ray I'm afraid he's not. But Jasper and I can vouch it wasn't his fault! He left the classroom and,"—she glared at Oliver for a moment— "Oliver dug through his bag because he has no conscience, apparently. He found the gum and...yeah."

Ray was silent. In fact, he was motionless, as well. Henry almost thought his watch had lagged and frozen up, but then Ray took a deep, calming breath.

He tried to compose himself, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"Okay." He said a bit louder; Henry assumed that he was talking to the class. "I can't see you all but I know you're there: I'll be there in like fifteen minutes. No one leaves the classroom and Henry has the authority. Sorry Ms. Shapen, this takes priority."

There was more silence that came from the classroom. It was the quietest he had ever heard his classmates be. And it wasn't a normal silence, either. It was suffocating.

Henry had always read descriptions of suffocating silence, but to actually experience it was another thing.

"—Henry!"

The teen shook his head, attention focusing back to his boss.

"Y-yeah?"

Ray observed his sidekick for a moment or two. They had had a talk after they let Jasper into the group.

Ray admittedly was a bit rough on Henry. The situation was different when he was his age. Ray's dad dedicated both of their lives into making Ray what he was today. He didn't have to hide anything or juggle a double life because his dad had forced him to make Superheroism his only life. This resulted in the man becoming somewhat of a hermit when he grew up. Sure, he was still an extrovert, but he never really had any true friends or partners outside of work. Keeping his identity a secret was easy.

Henry was different. It took him exploding on Ray in a nervous breakdown due to finals one night to realize that. Henry's family didn't know. Most of his friends didn't, either. He was still required to go to school and do homework and socialize among other stuff. He was a teenager and he had hormones and powers to hide on top of that and he couldn't drive yet, either. Of course he would make mistakes. That was part of growing up.

That being said, he wasn't completely off the hook. Ray was more understanding. Not a total pushover.

"We will talk about this after school. And you'll be doing evening patrol by yourself tonight." The man decided on.

Henry slumped in a weird mixture of disappointment and relief. "...with pay?" He ventured, smiling nervously.

Ray rolled his eyes. "If I didn't it would be considered child labor."

"You pay me minimum wage to risk my life on a daily basis, I think that's already considered some form of child labor."

"Henry you literally just revealed your entire genuine identity to your classmates you are not in any situation to be asking me for a raise." Ray deadpanned.

"Okay well I'm so fucking sorry but I'm clinically depressed and use jokes as a way to cope with my PTSD."

"So do I, Kid, you aren't special, where do you think you get it from?"

"This suddenly just got super dark." Jasper said, "like its funny but it's also dark. It was dark before but now it's like DARK dark."

"I think you said dark more times than I have physical brain cells."

"Valid."

"Oh! Ray, before you go," Charlotte jumped up again and bent Henry's wrist in a way that made him Yelp, "will you pick me up some sushi from the autosnacker? I forgot my lunch at home and I'm starving."

Ray gave a groan of annoyance. "No. I gotta get some stuff out of storage and get down there. Get your own damn food, Charlotte."

"Dude, it'll take you like—twelve seconds. Please."

Ray scowled at Charlotte, squinting at the girl as if challenging her to a silent competition. The coca-skinned teen stared right back with her iconic deadpan glare. They stayed like that for a minute before the man snapped.

"Fine! I'll get your dang sushi…"

"Don't forget the wasabi sauce!" Charlotte said as holographic Ray walked off screen. He stuck a thumb back in view for a moment.

"Also, I hope you know I'm not changing. You woke me up, I have earned the right to come in my pj's." He said distantly.

"Ray, that's by far they gayest thing you have said all week."

"IT'S ONLY TUESDAY, HENRY."

"Actually it's Wednesday." Charlotte corrected. Ray poked his head back into the projection range for a moment and just stared at her.

"This is homophobia."

That was the last they heard of Captain Man before he hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm...uhh
> 
> The rest of this story is probably just gonna be pure crack and I would have integrated the transition better but I feel like the half-assedness fits HD's Aesthetic
> 
> Uhhhh until next time, my lovelies ;)
> 
> ~LocalDragonHaunt


	3. Ray Probably Causes a Lot of Property Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray finally arrives at the classroom. Whether or not he solves the situation or makes it worse is completely debatable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh word.
> 
> viva la on with the story

Ray arrived at the school fifteen minutes later, full-on kicking the locked door open with the Memory Gun in one hand and a plate of sushi in the other.

“Henry Hart enjoy your last meal before execution!” He promptly yelled, and threw the plate at his sidekick.

Henry let out a strange noise that was a mixture between a scream and laugh, before he used his powers to grab it.

He made sure all the sushi was in tact before he handed the plate over to Charlotte, who promptly thanked him and then flipped off Ray for throwing her lunch.

Ray scolded Henry’s use of his powers through a death glare, but didn’t say anything verbally. He instead turned towards Ms. Shapen, who, to her credit, was holding it together a lot better than Oliver. But that’s still not saying much.

“...Sup.”

“Why did I know you were gonna say that.”

“Shut up, Kid. Seriously, what else am I supposed to say?”

Henry shrugged and let out a small chuckle. He knew he should be taking this more seriously. Both of them should. But Ray’s attempt to joke with him and the original panic that came with the first few minutes of the situation had faded and left Henry numb and, quite frankly, a little exasperated.

This was so absurd. It was so fucking absurd that he literally could not think of anything else to do but joke, lest he suffer a complete mental breakdown.

“How did you get that thing past security, dude?” Jasper asked, pointing at the memory gun. The man posed ridiculously with it.

“To be completely fair it looks like a kids toy.” He said, “I just slapped the word ‘NERF’ on the side and strolled on in.” Ray said with maybe a bit too much pride, presenting the poorly-made logo he had obviously taped onto the side.

“I mean….valid.” Jasper said after a few seconds, finding nothing else to say. “If the guards weren’t even the slightest bit suspicious then I’m accepting of my future death.”

“Put me out of my fucking misery, honestly.” Charlotte chimed in, laying across the desk she was on.

Ray jokingly pointed the memory gun at Charlotte and fake-pulled the trigger. The girl waited to pop another piece of sushi in her mouth, before dramatically playing dead.

“Are you serious? You could have at least put some effort into that death. I come here, knock-off Nerf Gun in my hand, and give you the liberation of a fake death, and your sushi is more important?”

Jasper chuckled. “Oh no I just came up with the worst pun but I don’t wanna say it because it only works if you spell it out.”

Henry rolled his eyes. “This day literally can’t get any worse. Please fucking say the pun my gay superhero heart can’t take it.”

“Okay, first off, you’re bi.” Jasper corrected, pointing his finger in a knowing way at Henry, “ the only one that gets the Gay Word Pass here is me. I’m the only one who has the Big Gay. Second off,”

He stared Henry straight in the eyes.

“Knock-off Nerf. Knerf.”

“Oh that’s—that’s terrible.”

“I know.”

“Oh, that’s me.”

“I’m changing that to your contact name now. Just Knerf.”

“I mean sure why not.”

“Also me.”

“Oh shit wait.” Ray interrupted, hiking the memory gun up onto his shoulder, “I’m actually here for a reason besides just fucking off. I completely forgot because I just desperately wanted this to be a dream.”

“Gee, Dad, just ground me already why don’t you.”

“If you ever call me Dad again I will personally commit a murder-suicide with only a paperclip and my nonexistent morality.”

“Oh, well in that case, okay Dad.”

Ray groaned, and slowly spun to face Ms. Shapen. Seeing that his attention was finally directed to her, she spoke.

“Captain Man, are you going to use that on us?” She stuttered, gesturing to the memory gun in nothing short of absolute terror. Henry found the exchange really weird considering that Ray was still in his PJ’s. The others probably did too. The superhero side glanced the weapon, before scanning the classroom again.

“I mean I was, but there’s way too many people in here and the law might get mad at me if I basically melted thirty people’s brains in one day so…”

He chucked the gun to the side. “It’s mostly just for show now.”

The gun flew, hit the wall, and knocked off quite a few trinkets.

“...mostly.”

“Well what are you gonna do then?” Henry asked, almost just as astounded as the class was relieved.

Ray shrugged. “I’ll just make ‘em take an oath of secrecy. How much longer until this class period is over?”

“I mean it’s a block class so it’s pretty long. We got about 20 minutes left.” Charlotte said. Ray hummed.

“I mean yeah that’ll definitely be enough time and it really should be my first priority but I am a very easily frustrated person and I hold grudges easily so,” he turned to Oliver, who shrunk even more under Ray’s gaze than he did Henry’s.

“So Oliver.” Ray started, clasping his hands together in a very ‘are you shitting me?’ way, “do you enjoy randomly digging through people’s bags and stealing their consumables? Cuz you know that’s a crime, right? And you now obviously know me and Henry here are the local superheroes, right? And you know that I will have like negative oppositions to arrest you, right?”

“Y-yes sir, Captain Man, sir.” Oliver stuttered.

“Oof.” Henry said, hopping up on a desk and sitting criss-cross-applesauce, “That’s the most serious I’ve ever heard Ray sound. And that’s counting the time I fractured my ankle and didn’t tell anybody for three days.”

“Henry Hart do not make me middle-name you.”

“Do you even know my middle name?”

“Yes. Yes I do.”

“Okay I really wanna call your possible bluff but that would mean that you would have to say my middle name out loud and I really don’t want it to be said if you know it.”

Ray looked over his shoulder at his sidekick in the most tired manner. “Just get a blue bubble and give it to Oliver.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still not that sorry lol


	4. Insert Good Chapter Name Here (—Jasper Dunlop)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray finally gets around to performing the Oath of Secrecy, but not before trying to defend Bo Burnham’s honor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is gonna be the last chapter! I hope y’all enjoyed, because I certainly had fun writing it, lol. 
> 
> This is actually a milestone for me—first ever multi chapter fanfic I’ve ever completed! I’m oddly proud. 
> 
> Anywho, Viva La on With the Story!

So Oliver blew a bubble and there was a flash before he was revealed to be back in his own outfit, to his own relief. He immediately slumped back into his desk in what Henry would have assumed to be a fantastically overdramatic display of loss of consciousness if it wasn’t for the fact that his eyes were still open.

Henry simply rolled his eyes and snapped the top of his gumball tube shut very deliberately, before stuffing it in his back pocket.

He then bowed very low, like a magician after performing his last trick, and Charlotte let out a few sarcastic woops from her place on the desk, clapping at the ceiling.

“Thank you, thank you, I will be going on tour in four months, it’s called…” The superpowered teen trailed off, finding he couldn’t think of a good name.

“It’s called ‘Insert Good Tour Name Here’” Jasper said, spreading his hands out as if he were measuring a billboard at a distance.

“Ew, no that’s lame.” Henry laughed.

“No it’s not, it’s pure comical genius with an underlying tone of surrealism. It’s funny because it’s relatable but it’s also a bit uncomfortable because it represents the underlying issues of procrastination and lack of inspiration that come with PTSD because you couldn’t put in the time to come up with a good title.”

“...Jasper, what the fuck?”

“Don’t ‘what the fuck’ him it’s a good idea.” Ray said, shrugging. Henry sent him a look that said ‘I think the fuck not’.

“No, it just blatantly reminds everyone in the room that yours and Jaspers’ favorite comedian is Bo Burnham.”

“That’s because he’s the best comedian—“

“—You can absolutely fight me on this.” Jasper and Ray said at the same exact time, then promptly turned and stared at each other before high-giving wordlessly.

“Actually John Mulaney is truly the god of comedians but go off I guess.” Henry said in a bout of nonchalant spite.

“Okay but can John Mulaney sing? No.”

“Okay but Bo Burnham wouldn’t even be famous if he hadn’t been the entrepreneur for musical stand-up comedy—John Mulaney managed to bring the industry back into the golden ages because he’s just That Good.” Henry argued, emphasizing the last two words.

“Henry is really passionate about the Mulaney’s. He’s using big words.” Charlotte teased. Henry nodded enthusiastically, completely bypassing the teasing for the truth underneath it.

“I really do.”

“Oh gee as if that’s not blatantly obvious by the amount of times you’ve quoted him.”

“Because its pure comical gold and works in a lot of situations!”

“You literally yelled ‘STREET SMARTS’ as you threw an entire brick at Minyac the other day. In the middle of BATTLE.”

“Because it FIT! Also don’t pretend you don’t play Bo Burnham every single time we get into the car.”

“Hey, WDIDLN speaks to me on a personal level.” Ray said, pronouncing the title as ‘wudidlun’.

“Guys, while you are arguing about which comedian is funnier, you’re missing the most obvious fact that you three are the biggest clowns of them all.” Charlotte said, “I’m pretty sure we can win an Oscar for best comedy just by compiling security footage from the Man Cave.”

“Best Comedy isn’t even a category, Charlotte.”

“Then fucking make it one. Bitch.”

Ray blinked, and Charlotte made a fakeout jump towards him in a bout of playfulness.

“Also uh, you’ve got like ten minutes of class left to get that secrecy oath of yours done so, I’d make it pretty quick.”

“SHIT.”

Ray immediately hopped up onto the nearest desk, losing a slipper along the way but landing with the practiced ease that only a superhero could emit.

He then whisked the tiny bit of bangs he had pulled back into a ponytail out of his eyes with the palm of his hand, and turned to address Ms. Shapen.

“If you would please join your class I’d appreciate it. I’m not gonna have time to repeat the process twenty separate times so we’re just gonna do it in massing.”

The teacher nodded in shakey understanding, before moving to stand next to her currently seated students.

“Oh lit we’re gonna be a fucking secret gay superhero cult and it’s gonna be a legit cult because we’ll have over ten people oh this is _great_.” Henry said enthusiastically, rubbing his hands together like a bisexual preying mantis.

“It’ll be great if President Kickass doesn’t find out.”

“Wait I thought her name was Kickbutt?” Jasper asked, confused for a split second.

“I knew her before she was president. It’s a rated-PG pseudonym for media purpose.”

“I mean…yeah okay.”

Ray mumbled in agreement before pointing at Henry.

“Take my phone and pull up the Don’t Tell the Secret video while I give them the verbal shit. I had Schwoz text it to me.”

“Aiit.”

Charlotte watched as Henry grabbed Ray’s phone from its place on the floor. “Do you want me to set up the projector, then?” She asked. Ray nodded.

“Sure. Knock yourself out.”

“Lit.” The coca skinned teen said, taking the phone from Henry and walking behind Ms. Shapen’s desk. She caught a glimpse of the teacher’s gaze—which was one of annoyed fear—and her lips pursed. The class had varying looks that indicated similar emotional distress.

“I feel the need to apologize to you guys.” She said to the class, fiddling with a USB port to avoid eye contact. “I know we’re seeing a bit insensitive and annoying right now but you have to understand that that’s just how we work through these things. It’s nothing against y’all, really.”

She let out a small click of the tongue as the projector started up and the starting image of the video popped up onto the wall.

“Literally, this is the most serious we’ve ever taken a situation that wasn’t life-threatening.”

“Yyyeah.” Henry agreed. Charlotte gave him a look that said ‘I wouldn’t be proud of that if I was you’.

“Would you two actually shut up I’m trying to do a very important ceremony right now.” Ray said.

“You are _literally_ in pajamas that have Bob Ross’ face on them.”

“And he would be proud of me, now shut up and press play!”

Charlotte simply rolled her eyes and pressed play.

“Ooh it’s gonna be nice to not be the person this is played for.” Jasper said, mad was promptly shushed by Henry who, by some form of logic, decided that kicking the other blonde would be more effective as opposed to telling him to be quiet.

Jasper attempted to hit him back, but Henry just tapped into his Hyper Motility and simply ducked out of the way with ease. Jasper pouted, but made no move to continue the squabble and instead turned to watch the watermelon be demolished on-screen.

Henry honestly didn’t pay attention to the next seven-and-a-half minutes because, well, he had already been through it at least three times and it was just plain boring at this point.

What he did pay attention to however, was the sudden beeping that came from his watch.

Ray sent a glance towards it, and a wordless exchange happened between the two as Henry turned the watch off, and texted Schwoz to ask what was up.

Jasper leaned in closely to read over Henry’s shoulder, and let out an almost identical groan with the other blond as Schwoz texted back.

“Wait no this is a good thing. We get out of school for this.” Henry immediately realized, and the people surrounding him could almost see an optimistic lightbulb turn on in his head.

Ray hopped off the desk, popping his fingers and strutting over to his sidekick to rudely interrupt his and Jasper’s ‘Oh Hell Yeah’ high-five.

“Bold of you to assume I would let you come with me. You’re still in trouble, you know.”

“I mean sure, if you want to handle Jeff and what looks like the extra fifteen pounds he’s gained on your own.” Henry said in the passive aggressive manner that only he emitted.

Everyone could see what was left of Ray Manchester’s will to live drain from his vision at the mention of Jeff.

Jeff pushed a _very_ special nerve on the local superhero’s ass-kicking list.

“Pop a gumball right fucking now.” Ray all but growled, and Henry snorted before copying the older superhero by producing his own gumball and popping it in his mouth.

“Aren’t you even gonna ask what he’s doing?” Henry inquired. Ray waited to blow a bubble before answering, light fading to reveal his uniform.

“Any excuse to punch Jeff is a good excuse, Kid. And he picked the wrong day to fuck with me, but you’d better be there to hold me back because I just might kill him.”

“Oh, what a mood.” Henry said, stretching as he adjusted to the sudden wardrobe change. “Do I get to punch him, too?”

“No. Just me.”

“Wha—“

“You’re still in trouble.”

“Are you shitting m—“

“Onward! To death!” Ray announced in his Captain Man Voice, and then promptly launched himself out of the window, causing it to shatter.

There was a brief pause that was filled with a small exclamation of ‘I’m okay’, as the occupants of the classroom could muster no energy but to stare at the once perfectly in tact window frame.

“...well, I guess if we’re heading towards death…” Kid Danger slowly agreed, sprinting and launching himself out of the window after his mentor.

The action was promptly followed by a shriek, a thud, and a conjoined exclamation of ‘FUCK’ and ‘WHY ARE YOU STILL LAYING HERE?’ that definitely suggested that Henry had full-on hurled himself on top of Ray by accident.

Charlotte and Jasper just sighed, and turned to pick up the Memory Ray and the one slipper that Ray had forgotten to put back on in his haste.

“They do realize that this school literally has like a hundred security cameras, right?” Charlotte asked. Jasper only rolled his eyes and shrugged.

The coca skinned girl sighed, and turned to Ms. Shapen. “Your first duty as the newest member of the ‘Captain Man Acquaintance' club is to come up with an excuse as to what happened here and to distract the other staff members long enough so that Schwoz can delete any incriminating footage. We would do it but uh,” she gestured to the two absolute idiots outside, who were currently trying to untangle their limbs in a bout of cursing. “We gotta make sure these two actually get to the crime scene.”

The bell suddenly rung, and with that, the class period came to a sudden end.

No one moved.

“...Good luck with that.” Jasper quipped, and both he and Charlotte took one look at each other before following Captain Man and Kid Danger out of the window.

The remaining 19 in the classroom stared as the quartet ridiculously made their way across the field and out of sight, and the room stayed silent long after the next line of students started pounding on the door, asking why it was locked.

“What the fuck just happened?” Someone asked.

No one had an answer.

All they really knew was that they suddenly realized why Kid Danger’s shit-eating grin had always been so familiar to them as they watched the news later that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, my lovelies! 
> 
> ~Local Dragon Haunt

**Author's Note:**

> Is this an angst fic? Is it a crack fic? How am I supposed to know. I just needed to add SOME logic to it.


End file.
